Is happiness really a choice?


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Yesterday I was watching an offbeat Bollywood cinema “Tum Milo to Sahi” starred by acclaimed actors like Nana Patekar, Dimple Kapadia and Sunil Shetty. Film smoothly captured many quests that we Indians struggle with on day to day basis. The one which I liked personally was “Do we really need to compromise the happiness of present day for the sake of future?” . Answer lies within the question itself but let’s discuss it widely.

It happens very often that our personal ambition which initially starts with the very basic need of survival in a cut throat competition subsequently takes us away from all those small factors of joy that kept us charged up and motivated. Like I wanted to buy a branded watch for my father since the first day at my first job because I saw him managing with one that was gifted to him by his in laws during his marriage in 1980. I also wanted to buy a digital camera for my mother who always had an urge to capture the moments of happiness. Yes, I bought all of it which had place in my list and had my own moments with tiny sense of accomplishments.

When I talk to some of my friends from school time, college time and from different offices that I worked  then I find one thing very common. They all(mostly boys) cherish and remember the moments which are already gone years ago and had been well spent. They give reference to the time when none of us were well paid as per the standard of a metropolitan city, but still managed to embrace and support each other(of course sometimes under the influence of alcohol). So, why they are not happy now or does the  lack of smile and laughter has become new symbol of happiness or all the happiness got restricted up to facebook and whatsapp? I mean they all earn very well now and has been able conquer the things which were pending in their lists.

I decided to do some research over it and I came across some of the astonishing facts which are listed below:

  1. Most of them are always afraid of losing what they have earned(more importantly money).
  2. They have stopped exploring new pending items in their lists mostly because they feel they have already accomplished the important stuffs like car, home, etc.
  3. Parents are aged and so no more luxury of living a carefree life as most of the time they are down with some or other complexities.
  4. People specially working in IT sector feels that the technologies they are working are outdated and they will succumb to the changing dynamics of the market.

But,  none of the above mentioned points has anything to do with truth because it lies in the fact that all the pending items in our lists were related to our childhood dreams like falling in love with a beautiful girl, marrying the person we were in love with, having a drink in a premium resort beside the pool, taking parents for pilgrimage ,etc. And that is the reason behind the sudden vacuum created in our lives because we are done with all of it. We are not living any new dreams or in fact our mid age crisis has stopped us completely from dreaming any further. We have started living in fear about the future which obviously will take away the joy of present day.

Let me share some of the very precious experiences of my life. Like many parents in Bihar having girl child, my parents were also worried about the expenses they had to bear during my sister’s marriage(specially dowry part which can be termed as wedding gift for making it look like less complaining) as they had very low savings for it. And truly speaking they were worried about it years before she actually got married. Time came and everything got managed so effortlessly and she is well settled in her life. That was the time I realized that my parents actually wasted some of the very precious moments of happiness behind worrying about something which was well taken care in future. So, in short life takes care of it in its own way.

I personally feel worried to see pair of sad eyes on happy faces around me. Even during my engineering days I made friends for lifetime and lived my life with full zeal and enthusiasm. The only thing that I regret is foolishly getting attracted towards something which I misunderstood as love and secondly kept my head burning by constantly thinking about the education loan for my studies which got multiplied up to an amount three times of my first annual salary. That stress led to my failure in 12 consecutive interview during campus placement. Gradually in next few years after college I repaid all the loan amount to the bank with ease and I made a promise to myself that whatever happens I will not let any such factors drive me away from life which is meant to experience and observe the beauty that lies around all of us.

By: Nilesh Ranjan

 

Scrapping of Section 377 by Supreme Court of India: Right to love freely and fearlessly..


delhi-s-10th-queer-pride-march

6th of September,18 was a kind of day which can be considered as full of gay(primarily that meant cheerful or carefree 🙂 ) for LGBTQ community in India as their long term dream came true. They won their battle against the hatred and prejudice by majority of the race who considered the LGBTQ community as abnormal and their sexual choices as unnatural. But, like Chief Justice of India Deepak Mishra has quoted yesterday while delivering the judgement that “How can one decide what is natural and unnatural in such matters?” and so its high time for the nation to come out of the hypocrisy or policy of personal comfort which gives the very undesirable right to the mass of illiterates to form a group to lynch and hate anyone and everyone whom they consider unnatural based on their own version of society and the norms for it.

I am personally delighted like many other citizens or netizens that at least there is a constitutional body in this country which kept the idea of India burning, alive and glowing. Once again the supreme court has been successfully able to crush the ideologies of the religious fundamentalists who believed that they can hijack the judiciary by force of blind folded fools and followers. I am happy that finally people of LGBTQ community can live like humans and they don’t have to be afraid for being bullied or attacked. Many of them are openly admitting now that majority of the times they even feared going to police stations to report any incidences of manhandling or assault due to social discrimination.

Also I was overwhelmed by the fact that youngsters of this country never had kind of discriminating beliefs about the community like previous generations. They might have taken the terminologies like homosexuality or lesbian as a matter of fun but on a serious notes I do not feel that they have any sort of hatred for people with different sexual orientation. I have personally asked many people about it and what they feel about the verdict by Supreme Court of India and to my surprise I did not find a single educated person who has condemned the verdict like many self declared protectors of religion. I would love to see the time when we as a nation will get over such burdens of hatred and discrimination based on caste, language or region.

Even for LGBTQ community the game is not completely over in their favor just because supreme believes for the preservation of their human rights. It will truly be joyful when people from every segment from our society willfully accepts it. But still any journey begins with a single step and they should be celebrating that legally they are free to love anyone as per their choice.

By : Nilesh Ranjan