Darker side of the love stories in India!!

In my opinion love is one single big reality in almost everyone’s life, be it a single sided or a mutually accepted between the two parties. Seems like I have picked up a very sensitive topic this time and I will try my level best to depict a very real picture of the same. I will talk about the pain a person has to go through for being in love in this country and the heavy cost that takes away their lives as well. We hear very often about the horror killing of the couples in the states like Haryana, Rajasthan and Uttar Pradesh just because they break the orthodox traditional values to spend their lives with the person they love.

The beauty of having the right end of a love story is desirable by everyone, but in India the path is very tough and surprisingly in 21st century, it has taken a very dirty shape for the love birds. Being a struggler of life I truly understand the fun of having a tough life and the struggle is required for our growth as an individual in order to become a good student of life. But, the struggle in a love story is absolutely unnecessary in India. There are many ways through which I can prove the miserable condition of true lovers in our country where parent starts behaving like a monster to their own child (specially girls) when they get to know about it.

Couple of years back one incidence happened in Kolkatta in which a Muslim boy who belonged to poor family having a widowed mother and a rich Hindu girl fell in love each other and got married without informing their parents. After that the guy went to his mother with the girl then the mother accepted that marriage and decided to inform the girls family about the same. Girl’s influential father came along with his associates and tried to drag her away but the girl refused and threatened to call the police. Then  they did some emotional drama and convinced the girl that they will get her married to the same boy in the traditional way in order to keep the family values intact.

After reaching the home girl came to know  that her father is planning to get his husband killed and so she requested him to stay away from his house. Boy started living here and there out of his home to save his life. He stayed with his aunts , friends and rarely use to come to see his mother. One fine morning the boy was found murdered on the railway track and that was the end of his story which cost his life and the future of his family. I saw this on the tv serial ‘Satyamev Jayate’ hosted by Amir Khan. His mother was brought to the show and I bet that show can bring tears in the viewer’s eyes like me.

That was the fate of a Hindu-Muslim love story. Now, I will take it forward to the level where both girl and boy were Hindu and belonged to the same caste as well. The famous incidence of Manoj-Babli murder case in Kaithal, Haryana. The killing was ordered by the Khap Panchayat-religious caste-based council among Jatts and on top of that they threatened the lawyers of Karnal district for not taking the case for Manoj or Babli’s family. So, Manoj family had to pick the the lawyer from Hisar to fight the case. In March 2010 a Karnal district court sentenced the five perpetrators to be executed, the first time an Indian court had done so in an honour killing case.

The couple were first kidnapped when they were fleeing to Delhi and then were beaten. Babli’s brother Suresh forced her to consume pesticide, while four other family members pushed Manoj to the ground, her uncle Rajinder pulling a noose around Manoj’s neck and strangling him in front of Babli .They wrapped the bodies in gunny sacks and dumped them in Barwala Link Canal in Hisar district. Nine days later, their mutilated bodies, hands and feet tied, were fished out of the canal by Kheri Chowki police.

I understand that the last two incidences mentioned above were too inhuman and brutal to digest but unfortunately that’s the reality of this country. I am not saying all the couples are having the similar fate, some are lucky for not being killed :P. But most of them has to go through a very bad phase of their lives where they are not able to sleep properly, eat properly, work properly or even talk properly to anyone. There is always a constant pain in their heart which slowly goes to the head and even a very strong willed people sees the worst out of them due to the anxiety all the time.

And who does all this? Either girl’s parents or the boy’s parents and they starts behaving so insensibly that from a neutral point of view one can feel like kicking their ass. Now I am talking about those stories which got converted into marriage but when you ask those couples whether the pain and stress they went through was really worth going through? Some assholes will definitely say ‘Yes’ because they might be having lesser needs from life, but majority will say ‘ No’ because sudden abnormal behavior of parents got no logic and they were helpless and never wanted to offend the oldies. That’s the deep rooted culture we Indians are born with which is somewhat okay in many cases except when it starts making our parents inhuman knowingly or unknowingly.

I have witnessed some of the finest love stories around me as it belonged to my friends only. In 3 out of 4 cases it was the girl’s family members who created so much of the drama and brought so many troubles. They made the condition of the guy so miserable that they became violent in their behaviors . End of the day they got married to the respective girls they were in love with, but some of the very beautiful days of their lives was ruined. I have seen them crying , yelling and begging to the girl’s family for not separating them from each other. Now when I ask the same question ‘Was it really worth to beg and cry instead of going to court and challenging the insanity of the trouble creating parents?’ .

The problem is very simple here. In our country going for court marriage against the parent’s will is considered as one of the biggest sin and in most of the cases girls are made to believe very strongly that if they dare to choose the guy for themselves(which they are legally authorized to) then their parents will be socially boycotted, will die out of depression or will commit suicide, etc. , etc. I am not saying these things just by observing others as I too have a very harsh experience of something like that and I chose a completely different fate for myself rather than falling prey to such nautankis(drama) 😛 .

My personal view about love is something that I won’t be able to express in words because nothing in this world can make you feel as beautiful the way love can make you feel. It got everything in modern time like long hours of chat over the phone or skype, coffee, movies, temples and the freedom and then comes the parents and everything is ruined. Then only thing remains is “tumhara baap aisa tumhari maa chandaal’ and love disappears somewhere.To conclude the topic all I feel is that girls in this country should consult their parents before falling in love rather than making their guy sleep naked on fire. Or else they should get some guts to take a right stand at the right time.

Nilesh Ranjan

5 thoughts on “Darker side of the love stories in India!!

  1. Pingback: Darker side of the love stories in India!! | Random With Life !!

  2. Well said nilesh, this is very much burning issue in our country,i would like to share my views on this.first i’ll think from the point of view of daughters father, any father when he come to know that his daughter loves some one & want to spent her entire life which makes him very much uncomfortable, there are many reasons for that firstly is he is not at all confident on his daughters choice,which actually makes sense coz there are lot of incidents happening around us whether boy cheated girl, leave her after marrige/violence/rape etc etc, so as a girl who is in deep love will always see only good points of his love which is many times very dangerous, also it makes situaltion worse if she loves to person of different cast because in some extent still there are lot if casteism due to which they didnt allow to break this barricate, even if they took step and marry without permission families take this as person insult and seek for revenge. due to this caste difference increases more & more.so from view of daughter father its ok to have worry about his little kid, but it becomes worst if he makes it as religious/caste/image issue.now from the point of young couples like i said earlier most of the times they always see only good things in there partners & ignore -ve points which actually many time leads to divorce/sucide/murder & depression.Moral is we’re developing country and our mind set should be developed as well.

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  3. @Sumedh : My dear friend .. you seems to sympathize to the girl’s father..That sympathy is valid till the time the guy of his daughter’s choice is a goon or having a bad character, not having good reputationor not having good guture or good job, etc. but in most of the cases it is just their ego(only in the case of girl) that how come my daughter dare to fall in love. They make the girl realize that she has committed a big crime. IF the girl is in her teenage or early 20s then the concerns are valid but in late 20s girls are much more matured enough to judge a guy with her own sense of judgement. Over concern for one’s daughter makes a person inhuman. What do you call the case of Haryana honor killing? Marrying a guy of her own choice is the fundamental and the constitutional right of a girl in India. Parents have all the authority to guide us to make us a good human being but in most of the love stories they actually ruin it just to satisfy their ego. I just wrote on it but I am fine with things till the time girls themselves find it right.

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    • Honor killing is very much disappointing and i’m not at all taking side of those who just for their ego become inhuman. i agree Marrying a guy of her own choice is the fundamental and the constitutional right of a girl in India hope many fathers would agree same

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  4. Illiteracy i believe is the evil cause of all this. If the father is education he can reason with his child about her future’s security with guy she has fallen for also daughter can reason, express. The cases you have mentioned mostly in the region of UP and haryana where women are typically suppressed also they allow male members to dominate over themselves. Typically in a haryanvi family voice of male id final command, also the social structure is as such when these men sit with each other with hukka every evening, they dishonour mens who are softer on their women. On top of that, khaap fuck (group of sagging enormous balls oldies) is devil in itself who commands the death of such affairs and every thing is associated with penniless pride of the community. I can tell you this as I had a personal interaction with one of the relative of such case, .When I reasoned him, he said a man here can live without women (be wife or daughter) but not without community. those who don’t abide are outcasted.
    Rest..about other love stories..aag ka dariya hai aur doob ke jaana hai…

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