Darker side of the love stories in India!!

In my opinion love is one single big reality in almost everyone’s life, be it a single sided or a mutually accepted between the two parties. Seems like I have picked up a very sensitive topic this time and I will try my level best to depict a very real picture of the same. I will talk about the pain a person has to go through for being in love in this country and the heavy cost that takes away their lives as well. We hear very often about the horror killing of the couples in the states like Haryana, Rajasthan and Uttar Pradesh just because they break the orthodox traditional values to spend their lives with the person they love.

The beauty of having the right end of a love story is desirable by everyone, but in India the path is very tough and surprisingly in 21st century, it has taken a very dirty shape for the love birds. Being a struggler of life I truly understand the fun of having a tough life and the struggle is required for our growth as an individual in order to become a good student of life. But, the struggle in a love story is absolutely unnecessary in India. There are many ways through which I can prove the miserable condition of true lovers in our country where parent starts behaving like a monster to their own child (specially girls) when they get to know about it.

Couple of years back one incidence happened in Kolkatta in which a Muslim boy who belonged to poor family having a widowed mother and a rich Hindu girl fell in love each other and got married without informing their parents. After that the guy went to his mother with the girl then the mother accepted that marriage and decided to inform the girls family about the same. Girl’s influential father came along with his associates and tried to drag her away but the girl refused and threatened to call the police. Then  they did some emotional drama and convinced the girl that they will get her married to the same boy in the traditional way in order to keep the family values intact.

After reaching the home girl came to know  that her father is planning to get his husband killed and so she requested him to stay away from his house. Boy started living here and there out of his home to save his life. He stayed with his aunts , friends and rarely use to come to see his mother. One fine morning the boy was found murdered on the railway track and that was the end of his story which cost his life and the future of his family. I saw this on the tv serial ‘Satyamev Jayate’ hosted by Amir Khan. His mother was brought to the show and I bet that show can bring tears in the viewer’s eyes like me.

That was the fate of a Hindu-Muslim love story. Now, I will take it forward to the level where both girl and boy were Hindu and belonged to the same caste as well. The famous incidence of Manoj-Babli murder case in Kaithal, Haryana. The killing was ordered by the Khap Panchayat-religious caste-based council among Jatts and on top of that they threatened the lawyers of Karnal district for not taking the case for Manoj or Babli’s family. So, Manoj family had to pick the the lawyer from Hisar to fight the case. In March 2010 a Karnal district court sentenced the five perpetrators to be executed, the first time an Indian court had done so in an honour killing case.

The couple were first kidnapped when they were fleeing to Delhi and then were beaten. Babli’s brother Suresh forced her to consume pesticide, while four other family members pushed Manoj to the ground, her uncle Rajinder pulling a noose around Manoj’s neck and strangling him in front of Babli .They wrapped the bodies in gunny sacks and dumped them in Barwala Link Canal in Hisar district. Nine days later, their mutilated bodies, hands and feet tied, were fished out of the canal by Kheri Chowki police.

I understand that the last two incidences mentioned above were too inhuman and brutal to digest but unfortunately that’s the reality of this country. I am not saying all the couples are having the similar fate, some are lucky for not being killed :P. But most of them has to go through a very bad phase of their lives where they are not able to sleep properly, eat properly, work properly or even talk properly to anyone. There is always a constant pain in their heart which slowly goes to the head and even a very strong willed people sees the worst out of them due to the anxiety all the time.

And who does all this? Either girl’s parents or the boy’s parents and they starts behaving so insensibly that from a neutral point of view one can feel like kicking their ass. Now I am talking about those stories which got converted into marriage but when you ask those couples whether the pain and stress they went through was really worth going through? Some assholes will definitely say ‘Yes’ because they might be having lesser needs from life, but majority will say ‘ No’ because sudden abnormal behavior of parents got no logic and they were helpless and never wanted to offend the oldies. That’s the deep rooted culture we Indians are born with which is somewhat okay in many cases except when it starts making our parents inhuman knowingly or unknowingly.

I have witnessed some of the finest love stories around me as it belonged to my friends only. In 3 out of 4 cases it was the girl’s family members who created so much of the drama and brought so many troubles. They made the condition of the guy so miserable that they became violent in their behaviors . End of the day they got married to the respective girls they were in love with, but some of the very beautiful days of their lives was ruined. I have seen them crying , yelling and begging to the girl’s family for not separating them from each other. Now when I ask the same question ‘Was it really worth to beg and cry instead of going to court and challenging the insanity of the trouble creating parents?’ .

The problem is very simple here. In our country going for court marriage against the parent’s will is considered as one of the biggest sin and in most of the cases girls are made to believe very strongly that if they dare to choose the guy for themselves(which they are legally authorized to) then their parents will be socially boycotted, will die out of depression or will commit suicide, etc. , etc. I am not saying these things just by observing others as I too have a very harsh experience of something like that and I chose a completely different fate for myself rather than falling prey to such nautankis(drama) 😛 .

My personal view about love is something that I won’t be able to express in words because nothing in this world can make you feel as beautiful the way love can make you feel. It got everything in modern time like long hours of chat over the phone or skype, coffee, movies, temples and the freedom and then comes the parents and everything is ruined. Then only thing remains is “tumhara baap aisa tumhari maa chandaal’ and love disappears somewhere.To conclude the topic all I feel is that girls in this country should consult their parents before falling in love rather than making their guy sleep naked on fire. Or else they should get some guts to take a right stand at the right time.

Nilesh Ranjan

The crime against women in India!!

Recent death of a rape victim named Aruna Shanbaug has compelled me to pen down my ideas and understanding over the heinous crimes against the women in India along with the social reason behind that. Violence against the women has been the easiest thing in the human civilization right from the very beginning of the world history. It has been mentioned in the holy book Bible as well. If you go through the ancient, medieval and modern history , it is very much prominent that with every war the winning side use to capture the women of the losing side along with their kingdoms. Even in Ramayana it has been mentioned that Bali made captured his brother Sugriv’s wife as his keep and a symbol of superiority.

I did not study the crime psychology and never interviewed any rapists as such, but when I re-collect my childhood memories and observations then I have a very certain and definite reason behind the brutality against the women in India. Due to the powerful presence of media in our lives these days , we are able to get some of the most disturbing crime reports against the women in our country. You might not have forgotten the incidence of Nirbhaya in Delhi, then recently a 70 year old nun was raped in West Bengal as she tried to oppose the robbery in church , recent death of a girl in Moga(Punjab) in her attempt to protect herself from the molesters in a public bus owned by the Badal’s family.

Aruna Shanbaug was into a very noble profession as she was a nurse and her job was to cure the pain of a person with love, care and compassion , but what she got was the 42 years of sufferings with her mortal body. When I read the entire incidence then it makes me think that what kind of animals we do have in our society who can dog latch a women and that too a nurse(whom we call sister in our society) to quench his sexual thirst. And the latch was so tight at her neck that it blocked the blood supply to her brain making her paralyzed for entire life. And our judiciary found just 7 years of imprisonment for the convict named Walmiki in that case. Anyways my focus today is not over the judiciary probe into the matter rather I would be focusing more into the root cause behind such incidence.

Its sad to say but when you check the stats for the convicts of all those cases then you will find one thing very common. All such reported crimes has been mostly committed by those guys who come from a very pathetic and ugly backgrounds. I am not making a caste based comments here but if you check the national level reports and stats then you will realize all the convicts in such cases are having similar backgrounds who are mostly illiterates and have seen their mothers being beaten and sexually exploited by their drunk fathers and that’s all they understand about a woman.

In Nirbhaya’s case all the 6 convicts including the juvenile was from a very poor background and they were all living in a slum of Delhi. And such breed of humans consider a lone woman on the street as their prey and that’s how they treat them and no one is to be blamed. We talk about the culture and civilization that we have a great legacy of cultural heritage then how come we have such barbarians roaming around over the streets.

So, where is the root for all this? Lets go back to the history and check!! We all have heard that caste system in India has made the people falling in lower caste category suffer at every front of life and upper class people always exploited them. And then post independence the messiah of sufferers Dr. B R Ambedkar created the constitution of India with lot of provisions like reservations in the government services, free education, non-bail able  warrant under harizan acts and all for the economically crippled people in our society like . And what was achieved out of it? A good percentage of that section got good education and got respectable jobs to support their livelihoods but a larger section chose to remain illiterate and continue as the parasite over the civic society.

I remember during my childhood I use to be in a very small town of Bihar which was mostly settled because of Railway Employees and Marwaris(Businessmen) . And the remaining population was of sweepers who were janitors in railways and hospitals. Their kids were given free education in railway’s schools and other government schools but what they use to do? Most of them were having the highly abusive language, they started smoking and drinking right from the age of 11 or 12 and they use to pass vulgar comments over any school girls passing in front of them. All the educated class was under the population control program by the government but the population of those sweepers was growing like virus to damage the society. And unfortunately there is no provision to curb this in constitution as of now.

And most of them were not at all encouraged to study, rather they were sexually educated in a very small age because of the kind of upbringings they had. I remember one incidence in which five 12 or 13 year aged guys from those families went to hill top to celebrate new year, and after drinking four out of them raped the fifth one and left him in blood and ran away. When they do some crime specially against the women then they are very much aware of the consequences after being caught, but somehow they are not afraid of. Because the kind of life they live everyday is of lesser standard in comparison to the jail. They are not afraid because they got nothing to loose.

About a women all they have been taught is that ‘ you are guy and you got a dick and so go and drill down the girl you find on the street’. Dr. Ambedkar himself might not be knowing that what damage he is causing to our society in long term by introducing so many privileges to any community in the constitution. His vision might have been towards the brighter side but in reality women of this nation is paying the bigger cost of the mistakes done by him. Whatever logic and argument our politicians may pass but end of the day we as a nation are getting degraded day by day in the matter to provide safe and secure environment to our women over the street.

Nilesh Ranjan

Being an IT professional in India!!

After spending eight precious years as an IT professional, I personally feel quite qualified enough to depict the way IT professionals carry themselves in India and the way society look at them. To start with the topic I have to go back to the time when I stepped in to the industry in 2007. It was monsoon and the place was Mumbai-the land of dreams in India. 6th of Aug was the date for me and many others like me to begin the journey(much lesser known fact was that we all were destined to disappear in the white collered crowd except few, who chose to step down from the industry at later stage).

Life is a series of experiences and trust me that first day at 3i InfoTech Ltd., Vashi was itself an experience to share about. Meeting new people , HR persons, getting Bank Account Kit, food coupons and on top of that 3 months stay at a luxurious hotel Center Point at Turbhe Naka(we struggled everyday as no autowala wanted to go over there for whatsoever reasons). All of us were genuinely happy and the happiness was beneath all of us. Then we all became friends which added more flavor to our lives and till this date that Mumbai chapter is considered to be the most memorable chapter among all those who were the part of it.

Then our technical training started and a very gentle and pretty lady named Nisha Kothari was assigned to train all of us on C and C++ programming. I bet none of us might have enjoyed studying that much throughout our academics the way we enjoyed there. Our trainer was beautiful both internally and externally and her explanatory power as a faculty was outstanding. We enjoyed the classroom training along with the tea and sutta breaks. Food was awesome in the canteen(I never had such a tasty canteen food in any of my jobs at further stage).

Over the weekends in those 3 months we explored Mumbai like there was no tomorrow. We went to Haji Ali, Mahalakshmi Temple, Gateway of India, Siddhi Vinayak, Essel World, Shirdih, Movies and whatever you can think of in Mumbai. I never enjoyed any other city the way I enjoyed Mumbai in those days. I met some of the most fantastic people in my life like Rahul, Piyush , Manish, Mohsin, Vaishnavi and many others(naming all of them in this blog would be difficult).

Coming back to our hotel stay!! As I already mentioned that we were given with a very luxurious hotel which was having nice service, nice furniture , air conditioner, television , great bathroom and the best part was the restaurant at the top floor- Kaake The Dhaba!! It was an icing on the cake. I was personally blessed to have two fantastic room partners at that time named Ravi and Vinay as we had a perfect tuning to each other. All three of us were smokers at that time 🙂 . In fact passionate smokers !!

Past one month we all got our first salary which was around Rupees 14000(only for 24 days) and trust me that amount made me feel so rich and prosperous at that time as if I was able to purchase entire Mumbai. Truly speaking my current salary like most of my friends is good enough to bring smile over many faces but that first salary of Rupees 14000 had given a personal satisfaction and happiness. It might have given the feeling of confidence about one’s being worth of something that never came during our academics.

Training for C and C++ was over and then we had been assigned to another fantastic trainers Prabhat Sir and Saroj Sir. Both of them were from Orissa and so had funny accent while speaking Hindi. I am sure most of my friends who gone through that training might be agreeing to me that those two faculties had actually kept the foundation for our careers in IT industry. I still remember the words by Saroj Sir on our last day of the training at Mumbai ‘Your life starts from here!!’ . Next day we all left for Chennai which was very scary for first few days or rather months.

We all were separated and were assigned to different projects and so our comfort was taken away. Only relief to me was Ravi and Vinay still continuing as my flat partners and Rahul standing like Rahul Dravid in our lives. I remember that day when Vinay was laid off from 3i InfoTech just 2 days before Diwali in 2008. Me and Ravi felt so heart broken  that we were not able to speak for few minutes. In Aug,2009 I was also shown a kind of pink slip but it was less tragic as the recession was over and somehow it was managed. Bravery coming out of helplessness turns out to be the best thing in such moments.

We argued, fought and released our frustration on each other unnecessarily many times but it was just the togetherness that we had in those scary days of recession. Life has made all of us as big monsters in this industry after 8 years but those days of innocence in Mumbai and Chennai will always bring smile over the faces. Today Vinay is an assistant commissioner, Manish Sinha is an officer of BSNL, Rahul is in Coal India Ltd. and rest all of us are still digging deeper into the  IT industry.

Time has changed and so is the industry which is becoming more as a symbol of mediocrity day by day. 8 years back the industry was full of positive challenges and substance to that extent where showbiz was acceptable, but today showbiz is still there but there is no substance and that makes the industry pathetic. Only charm left is the onsite trip and the dollar earning to buy a flat or to repay the home loan. I have been to America and stayed for 2 years and end of the day I realize that we Indians are not only financially poor, we are poor at everything.

Our parents think that we are engineers and we do big things at work and that’s why we get paid very well, but in reality we actually do nothing. In one of the survey report it was mentioned that in IT industry only 35% people get paid well based on their knowledge and skill. Rest 65% are highly paid because of their personality and verbal abilities. This has led to a positive change for youngster pursuing entrepreneurship in IT industry over the job. I am not sure how great the IT industry will offer a noble career to the coming generation, but for us time has come to give a thought whether to continue with the mediocrity or to pursue an excellence.

Nilesh Ranjan

Hit and Run!! Justice that is force delayed…

Seeing the huge fan following and condolence by entire Bollywood and politicians towards the great “Salman Khan” has actually compelled me to think over the kind of society we are living in. People who are sympathetic to Salman Khan today have forgotten the very fact that he is not the victim in hit and run case, rather he has been convicted by the session court and has been sentenced for five years of jail term.

The issue is not subjective to one particular case but its a big question mark on the kind of mind set we as a citizen has developed over the 70 years after independence. Few months back I heard a similar story related to AIADMK chief Shri Jayalalita’s case of anti graft in which she has got acquittal today by Karnataka High Court. Some of her supporters immolated themselves after she has been sent to the jail by the session court. This sympathy and empathy towards a convict is actually beyond my understanding of a civic society.

During the time of independence struggle, people of this country might be aware of what exactly they were supporting to. It was an ideology of a leader or social reformers rather than the blind support to a particular person. Leaders like Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose, Lala Lajpat Rai and Bal Gangadhar Tilak are still being worshiped because of their ideology for the nation. But, what is happening today has given immense confidence to the people like Jayalalita, Lalu Prasad Yadav, Salman Khan and Sanjay Dutt who were convicted by the court for their respective crimes. It appears like judiciary has published a separate version of law for celebrities in this country otherwise Salman Khan could not have been able to prolong the trial for 13 years in an open and shut case. And on top of that Bombay High Court could not have granter him anticipatory bail for such a severe crime and low punishment.

Who are to be blamed for making Salman Khan a brand ambassador for a shit like “Being Human”. A coward and a liar became the youth icon for this nation who ran over 5 innocent persons sleeping harmlessly on a footpath killing one and severely injuring others and then running away from the site rather than helping the victims to reach out the hospital for immediate treatment. Such a shame!!

Why we the people of this country are so blind folded that just media sympathy and coverage to a person or party becomes sufficient enough to them for getting our support to make them a hero or “messiah” ? People sitting on the position of Judge of a high court or supreme court became so insensitive that they are forgetting the simple fact that the verdict given by them has got some serious impact on our society. Acquittal of Jayalalita or granting bail to Salman Khan are the kind of verdict which raises a big question mark on our judiciary system.

I personally don’t know whether Salman Khan will ever go behind the bar and that’s actually none of my business because the bigger concern and threat is the kind of support he is getting from the public and media houses. Time has come for us to analyze our behavior and the extent of support we provide to such people. Those celebrities need to get the message very loud and clear that our love and support to them is for their contribution to our society not for killing black buck or innocent persons sleeping on the footpath or for keeping the public’s tax money like their ancestral property.

Everybody is sympathetic to Salman Khan, right from media to public, Bollywood to politicians and the support of high court’s judge is an icing to the cake. But, no one is actually bothered to think about the brutal death he has caused to the person sleeping at the accident site. That’s the example of a slowly poised capitalist society. People with money can conquer everything in this nation, be it any law, any rules or even entire judiciary. It took almost 13 years for the session court to convict Salma Khan in the hit and run case and high court judge did not even take 13 minutes to overrule that. Very unfortunate for the nation and for the people who live in this nation.

Nilesh Ranjan

Death of a farmer!!

After a very long time, I got some pretty relaxing time to vent out my ideas on a very sensitive and forgotten issue due to Nepal crisis i.e. death of a farmer from Rajasthan at Jantar Mantar, New Delhi during the kishan rally by AAP. Some says that its a suicide and some says that it was an accidental but the bitter truth still remains the same that he is dead and cannot come anymore to clarify or justify his death.AAP wants to declare him a martyr, BJP wants to portray him as a victim of AAP political stunt and other parties have their own version as per their comfort.

The moral conscience of Indian politics has been constantly under the scrutiny since a very long time, but this incidence of Gajender Singh is an epic in Indian politics as the very great Kejriwal and his team continued their speeches even after that farmer hanged himself in front of them. This is very unfortunate and unprecedented. The biggest losers in this story are the family members of Gajender Singh who are left with nothing other than the stories formed by different political parties as per their own convenience and comfort.

Actually it reminded me of a story “Maha Bhoj” by one of the great Hindi writer Shri Mannu Bhandari in which he depicted the painful story of a farmer whose political death was being capitalized by several local and state level leaders and his wife along with an honest policeman kept on fighting for the truth and punishment to the culprit. At last the demised farmer’s wife had to leave the village as she was denting the reputation of the village by questioning the panchayat and local leaders.

Killing oneself has always been an easy choice and escape for Indian farmers from a very long time and there are multiple factors for that other than the governance or lack of vision for farmers and their rights. In this blog I don’t want to cover those factors as I want to stay focused to the Gajender Singh’s death and the way he died was nonetheless than a filmi drama with a very tragic end. Delhi Police lodged the complain against AAP leaders for provoking that farmer to climb the tree and hang himself and the great Kejriwal like always has a believe that there is a conspiracy against him. Whatever police says or Kejriwal says, truth will not change that People in this country are so blind folded and obsessed to their own comfort which is slowly making them inhuman. Why a person who is being portrayed as a farmer(actually he was a small business man having track record of tying turban to many famous personalities like Bill Gates and all) needs to be there at Kishan rally of AAP without having any big damage to the crops due to rain?

From media to police and opposition will keep on raising the question on Aam Aadmi Party, but who is actually to be blamed? Its the people of Delhi who greedily voted to such idiots to an unprecedented victory in Delhi elections. Greed was for the free electricity, water, transportation, etc. Actually most of the times its the innocents who suffer because of fools active involvement in politics. Gajender Singh died due to all those fools who voted for Aam Aadmi Party in the hope for a better Delhi with free Wi Fi. If Kejriwal is responsible for Gajender’s death then all those idiots who voted for him are equally responsible for Gajender’s death. I don’t know whether Gajender;s family will ever get the justice or not because hardly any politicians get punished in this country. My sincere sympathy is with Gajender’s family and personal curse to AAP.

Nilesh Ranjan