Friends without benefit!!

Quite a weird topic but very common among everyone. Our forefathers use to pass a quote very frequently that “Your actual personality can be revealed by the kind of friends you have.”. Not completely true but to a very greater extent its almost right!! Remember the school time when there use to be good boys and bad boys. Good boys use to excel in their studies, teachers use to love them and they never use to get involved in any sort of controversies, but the bad boys were seemingly less interested in studies, more involved in disturbing the teachers and the class, use to pass funny comments at the girls and most of the times involved in endless fights to terrorize others. Teachers use to get pissed off by just looking at them and on top of that girls literally use to hate them for everything they use to do.

But what kept them(bad boys) motivated to continue with the label of hooligans and unpopularity. It was the kind of friendship and attachment among themselves. They might not been good in their studies and impressing teachers and girls, but when matter came to friendship then they were real toppers and genius. Most of them were friends to each other without any sort of benefits and that’s what you become at the end of the school time ‘a selfless,content and an energetic person’. On the other hand the gangs of good boys kept on studying and competing others(even to their own so called friends). All of them did well in their exams but none of them were content and most of them were depressed because they scored less than someone in his/her group. So, what they become? A jealous, selfish and ‘full of complains with life’ kind of person.

My intentions are not to motivate the kids to go bad and be less focused towards their studies. But, to make them understand what actually can make them a good person, efficient person and socially accepted wherever they go. A real sense of friendship without any personal agenda definitely helps you to improve as an individual. It is always said that your true friends will never appreciate you for whatever you do and however you do. When I use the term ‘Friends without benefit’ then that represents the group of people who are very happy in the company of each other. They will make fun of each other and will laugh out loudly on small things but will never have any sort of expectations to hear good from each other 🙂 .

Once APJ abdul kalam said that most creative minds in a class are sitting in the last few rows. Why did he say that? Its a common perception that the last benchers are those who are attending the class either to get their attendance or to create some nuisance. Basically those guys may not be individually great but unknowingly they develop a sense of team work and collectively they become capable of performing miracles. Most of the times they don’t have any personal desire or agenda for themselves.And that is what actually requires to be a good human and a successful leader.

Now, adding some personal experiences to the topic without getting biased towards anyone. I personally observed that the studious guys use to envy the heroes of the classrooms who were humorous, quick witty, brave and verbally impressive. And I realized it in those school days only(almost 13 years back) that studying hard can make you pass the exams , competition or fulfill your career oriented goals. But, it can not give you the ability to win the hearts or to be the king of hearts because keeping personal agenda all the time in your mind makes you a very small creature in front of those self less monsters who were sitting in the last rows eating tiffin before lunch break 🙂 . They were friends without benefit.

Nilesh Ranjan

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